Fighting the Undertow

Intention is always the easy part. Intending to make it to the page (the keyboard? the screen? the editor?): clearly it hasn’t been enough to actually get me here.

I’ve always thought that keeping a personal blog matters – that living in the now, sharing the highs and the lows, that talking about goals and the work that goes into reaching them matters – because it’s in sharing our stories that we grow. It’s in finding shared stories that we reclaim hope, feel connections, and find reasons to keep pushing through even when it feels like there’s not a single reason to keep showing up and trying. Having outgrown one such blog last year, I tried to embrace this space. And it worked. For a little while at least. But somewhere along the line, I lost my focus.

Part of that was because, well, I was scrambling to get work done and to get side hustles going to bring in the cash I needed to pay taxes. Part of it was that I was starting to struggle with the most severe depression I’d faced in years. Part of it was that there was still a newness – and with it came all of the hardcore doubts. How could I keep from screwing it up? What was the damned point? If I couldn’t be sure of what I wanted to say, how would I say anything at all of value?

Those doubts are all still there, but here I am anyway. Nothing’s really changed, but I’m still feeling like something needs to change. The best way that I can explain it is to say that it’s simply this. Not taking advantage of this is like taking a beach vacation, but never going near the sea because there’s a slight chance of an undertow at low tide – especially when the tide is coming in. In other words, it kind of defeats the purpose.

There are never any guarantees but these: if you don’t go, you don’t see. If you don’t try, you don’t succeed. And if you give the fear the upperhand, you’ll never know what you can do.

Progress Through Reflection: Looking Back to Move Forward

How do we build on our past and on our reflections of what we could have done differently? This post explores a number of the things I wish that I’d known years ago, musings on whether or not going back would really “fix” everything, and thoughts on what needs to happen in order to build on the lessons Im learning.

Taking Notice of Progress That’s Already Occured

This isn’t a post about specifics. It’s not a post about nailing down goals and mapping out a strategy for achieving them. It’s also not a post that’s about my stressing out or freaking out about money – though it would have been ridiculously easy for it to have headed in that direction. The reality…

Risks, Beauty, and Setting Aside the Challenges for the Sake of Progress

We all need to focus more on what we have to offer, on what we can do, and on what we hope to accomplish.

Making Progress by Starting Small

To make changes, I’m going to stick with trying the small stuff – at least for now.

Saying Yes I Will to Change Perspective and Make Progress

Change is creepy, under-the-bed or hidden-in-the-closet-when-the-light-goes-out stuff. But, like those monsters that are probably not really there, the only way to get over the angst is to confront it.

Three Topics I Follow to Change My Focus

Sometimes progress isn’t something that anyone can measure in the passage of days, but more in the way that thoughts, ideas, and opinions shift over time. Right now, I’m looking at the simple things – the ways that I speak my concerns, talk about various issues, and think about the big picture. But I’m also following three hashtags on Twitter that keep me thinking about what’s going on in the world outside of me.

On Freedom, Happiness, and What Growth Looks Like

Instant gratification rarely leads to long-term happiness; be content with the now, look to the future, but try not to get caught up too much in the belief that there’s nothing to be gained from the now.

Why I’m Starting to Blog at Progress Everyday

I’m ready to start making progress and I know that it’s going to be a long, maybe even painful process. I’ll be setting goals, talking about the books that I’m reading, the changes I want to make and the efforts that I’m making, music I’m listening to, films that I’m watching, and the dreams that I hope to bring into the waking world.